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Unanswerable Prayers

Woman’s Prayer

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks, One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh!
Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to “how big is my behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.

Man’s Prayer

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat. This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit.
Amen

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