- You think crosswalks are for wimps
- You think if someone is nice to you they either want something or they are from out of town and lost
- You know how to cross four lanes of traffic in five seconds
- You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day
- You think it’s not actually tailgating unless you’re touching the bumper of the car in front of you
- You know that a yellow light means that at least five more cars can get through and a red one means two more can
- The transportation system is known as the “T”
- You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house
- Subway is a fast food place
- There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house
- When people talk about “The Curse Of The Bambino” you know what they’re talking about and believe it too (although there is no-longer a curse) You believe using your turn signals gives away your plan to the enemy
- If you stay on the same road long enough it eventually has three different names
- Someone has honked at you because you didn’t peel out the second the light turned green
- You have honked at someone because they didn’t peel out the second the light turned green
- All the potholes just add to the excitement of driving
- Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only if you want to
- Six inches of snow is considered a dusting
- Three days of 90 degree heat is definitely a “heat wave”, 63 degrees is “on the warm side”
- You cringe every time you hear some actor/actress imitate the “Boston Accent” on TV or in a movie, if you don’t have it then you’re never going to get it even if you were born here
- At the ice cream shop you call chocolate sprinkles “jimmies”
- You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes.
- The person in front of you is going 70 MPH and you’re cursing them for going too slow
- You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill, and Cotuit
- You know what they sell at a “packie”
- You have never been to Cheers
- You’ve slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater
- You keep an ice scraper in your car all year round
- You know if you don’t like the weather, all you have to do is wait and it will change.
- You know what a frappe is
- Paranoia sets in when you can’t see an ATM or CVS
- You’ve pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left turn
- You’ve bragged about saving money at The Christmas Tree Shop
- You know what “regular coffee” is
- You can navigate a rotary without a problem
- You have been to Fenway Park
- You refer to the New York Yankees as the devil
- You ! feel the rest of the world needs to drive more like you
- When someone calls you a “Masshole” you take it as a compliment
- You use the words “wicked” and “good” in the same sentence
- You never say “Cape Cod” you say “the cape”
- You went to Old Sturbridge Village and Plymouth Plantation in elementary school
- You know the Mass Pike is some strange weather dividing line
- You have survived the big dig
- You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn’t flip you off when you cut them off or steal their parking space
- You actually understand all these jokes.
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