AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to
make love again.
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance
apart to keep you on the edge of
financial disaster.
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the
strained carrots.
FULL NAME: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even
though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do
everything we say.
OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry
shoes into it.
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and
to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby’s face turns red and she begins to
make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: able to whine in words
WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house…
WEEKEND: when Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry,
cleans the house, runs errands, etc.
