Archive for the ‘Linked’ Category

My Dream

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

Dilbert.com

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Zen Again…and Again

Sunday, August 8th, 2010

What happened to the Zen Buddhist when he stopped wearing shoes, eating right, and brushing his teeth?

He became a super callused fragile mystic with extensive halitosis.

Why did the Zen Buddhist decline pain killers for his cavity?

He chose to transcend dental medication.

What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

What was the hot dog vendor’s reply when the Zen Buddhist asked for the money left from the $10 bill he gave him?

Change comes from within!

Finally, if a Zen Buddhist becomes totally involved with working on a computer, does he enter Nerdvana?

Which reminds me of this classic from
Dilbert.com

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Getting it Right by Not Trying

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me Janice, who created the universe?” When Janice didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

“God Almighty!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good” and Janice fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Janice, “Who is our Lord and Saviour.” But, Janice didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

“Jesus Christ!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Janice fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Janice jumped up and shouted, “If you stick me with that thing one more time, I’ll break it in half and stick it up your ass!”

… the teacher fainted!

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FUQ Forwards Milestone

Tuesday, July 27th, 2010

The previous post (http://humor.fywservices.com/2010/07/new-drug-announced) marks the last post from my original blog to be moved to here.

So, unless you want me to start making up my own jokes and posting them, you had better send me some more at fuqfwd@fywservices.com.

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Sign Seen on Truck Today

Friday, April 30th, 2010

Beer. The reason I get up every afternoon.

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Don’t Drive in Boston Unless You Know This

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

Boston is a mishmosh of 17th-century cow paths and 19th-century landfill penned in by water. You know, “One if by land, two if by sea.” Charlestown? Cahn’t get theyah from heah.

And which Warren Street do you want? We have three plus three Warren Avenues, three Warren Squares, a Warren Park, and a Warren Place.

Pay no attention to the street names. There’s no school on School Street, no court on Court street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street. Back Bay streets are in alphabetical odda. Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D.

If the streets are named after trees (Walnut,Chestnut,Cedar,)you’re on Beacon Hill.

If they’re named after poets, you’re in Wellesley.

Dot is Dorchester, Rozzie is Roslindale, JP is Jamaica Plain. Readville doesn’t exist.

The North-East-South-West thing: Southie is South Boston. The South End is the South End. The North End is east of the West End. The West End is no more. A guy named Rappaport got rid of it one night. Eastie is East Boston. The East End is Boston Harbor.

There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock buildings.

There’s also a Boston Latin School and a Boston Latin Academy. How should we know which one you mean?

Route 128 is also I-95. It is also I-93.

The Harvard Bridge goes to MIT. It’s measured in ‘smoots.’

The subway doesn’t run all night. This isn’t Noo Yawk.

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Stolen Quote of the Day

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

“I think the gene pool could use a little chlorine.”
Seen on a bumper sticker

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If programming languages were religions…

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Classic blog entry at http://www.aegisub.net/2008/12/if-programming-languages-were-religions.html.

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Either Post Something or Shut Up and Laugh

Sunday, August 16th, 2009

I rarely link to some other site, but it just doesn’t get any more FUQ funny than this: http://www.fmylife.com/ so I created a new category for worthy links.

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