A calendar as measuring device would be called an oldometer.
Archive for the ‘Original’ Category
Measuring The Speed of Life
Monday, February 1st, 2010Sometimes Free is Too Much
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010If lnowing your credit sccore is worth it, why does the spoke singer heep having the same credit problems? Can he not afford free or does what he get for free not help him at all?
Inspiration…
Monday, January 25th, 2010…Happens when one thinks clearly about a problem for the first time despite the ingrained habit of acting stupidly.
Pursed Pucker Pope Pun
Sunday, September 27th, 2009Tongue training in church means taking the second syllable out of Catholic.
Amusement Park From The Dad’s Perspective
Friday, September 11th, 2009After spending the day at an amusement park with the family, I know now how the Golden Goose felt…after a visit to the proctologist!
Developing Software in a Sauna
Tuesday, September 8th, 2009There are cynics amongst us (if you are reading this, you should know that by now) who say that the most pleasurable part of a sauna is getting out of it and being relieved from the heat.
Coding software is like that, sometimes. You will always run across a bug in your software, or poor documentation, or an upgrade or language shift where all the things you expect to be there aren’t. So you bang your head against the wall until a solution falls out it (hopefully your head, though the wall has contributed on occasion). And then you stop banging your head and give it a final slap as you solve the problem. Then it feels good. So good, you wind up banging your head again in a few months/days/hours over another problem.
69 Is A Universal Constant
Tuesday, August 18th, 2009Note: This was originally posted on my one-size-fits-none blog that covered technology and humor (among many other topics). If you get through the techno babble at the start without crossing your eyes or going to sleep, and you might just laugh by the end…or feel dumb if you don’t 
I was reading the specifications for a software program where the maximum value it would accept for a particular setting was 2147483647 seconds. Not a number I will remember on a certification exam. So I whipped out my handy calculator (startruncalc.exe) and figured this out to be just a shade over 68 years.
So, the setting could not get past 69, which reminded me of other technical limits this number is know for.
The speed limit of sex is 68, because at 69 you eat it.
The square root of 69 is eight something.
And now, the time a transaction can try to take is 68 years, after which it gets sucked back to where it started.
Ok, yeah, only the nerds are laughing at that last one, and only some of them. But, hey, that is how my head works in its humor division.
Today’s Outlook: Stay Inside
Monday, August 17th, 2009The exit door of my hotel this morning:
The World is Scheduled For Repair
(If you can’t read the sign, it says “Out of Order”)
Weak Attempt
Thursday, August 13th, 2009Joe Diddley was a failed body builder. In the competitions he wowed judges with milk-jug sized biceps, pects like twin propane tanks, and shoulders as broad as a barn. But Joe’s thighs looked barely big enough to hold him up.
Diddley didn’t do squats.
This bad pun brought to you by time 06:00 and the drug caffeine.