Archive for the ‘Original’ Category

The difference between Dough and Doh is ug!

Wednesday, April 10th, 2013
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How to Tell Your Life is Boring

Tuesday, April 9th, 2013

If you find yourself falling and someone else’s life flashes before your eyes. Extra credit if it is the life of a fictional character because you don’t know anyone interesting, either.

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New Reality Series Pitch

Tuesday, April 9th, 2013

Promotion Through Attrition. Watch how quickly people move up a corporate ladder at a dead-end company while their more talented colleagues leave for better jobs. A combination of The Biggest Loser and Last Comic Standing.

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The Relationship Coin

Thursday, November 1st, 2012

When you are single, you can flip a coin and it will land one way or another. Once you get married, it has to land on it’s edge because there will no longer be any head or tail.

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People Who Fix Their Coffee at the Coffee Dispenser

Thursday, June 28th, 2012

After years of being the only reader of this blog, I figured I would start posting pet peeves and see if people might read them and leave funny comments.

To start off, I hate it when people who pollute their coffee with contents other than coffee fill their cup and then leave it under the coffee urn while picking up all their little wimpy ingredients and then mixing them in like it was the science project their semester grade depends on. Hey, morons, the ten people behind you would like to wake up to. Put the coffee in the cup and get the hell out of the way. Go dilute your caffeine somewhere else, like your desk. You know, the place you will avoid all day long while yapping about the lack of creamer in the fridge and what you just posted on Facebook?

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Semi-Streaming Thoughts

Wednesday, January 19th, 2011

I should add a category for half-baked jokes, but too lazy to (note other blog is Cheap Lazy Investing)

I was suffering a stream of consciousness during a commute, which may have been an entertaining video (if you find psychotic stressful ramblings to no one else amusing) but not a good read. But it lead to things like:

My stream of consciousness of consist of urine…

The only way to tell the difference between my stream of consciousness and my stream of urine is which head I shake when done…

And it just went downhill from there 🙂

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Extended Riff

Tuesday, August 10th, 2010

What is with the new Extenze pitch about its not just size, it is better and longer love-making? The ads run at times when the only guys watching can have their love-making made better with a new subscription to Hustler, replacing the ten year-old copies they stole from their father. They are probably happier if it takes less time so they can go back on-line and tell other guys how they just made it with Lara Croft again.

I think that is where the term hand held game came from.

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Predicting the Future

Monday, August 2nd, 2010

If Apple released a PC that ran Windows Vista it would eventually be referred to as the iCrash.

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New York Spring Fasion

Friday, March 19th, 2010

Seen today:
Man wearing a leather jacket with a fur collar and cargo shorts

Woman wearing fur-lined clogs.

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Awakening

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

How can I even consider the possibility of life after death when I have not experienced life before coffee?
Inspired this morning by the W in New York City where there is no in-room coffee maker

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