<em>You know this is going to go bad for non-Southerners when the author felt it necessary to explain the definition of “fixin’”. I’m reckonin’ this was sent to me as ’cause I’m a gonna move to North Carolina. If them damn Yankees only knew I was fixin’ to move to get the hell away from them…</em>
A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin’ (ready) to jump.
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, “Please don’t jump, think of your dear mother and father.”
He replied, “Mom and Dad are both dead; I’m going to jump.”
She said, “Well, think of your wife and children.”
He replied, “I’m not married and I don’t have any kids.”
She said, “Well, think of Robert E. Lee.”
He replied, ”Who’s Robert E. Lee?”
She replied, ”Well bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee.”
